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HERE'S HOW I READ ARTICLES I SEE ON BULLYING

Here is an article on the kind of advice being given to parents out there and I thought I should pick this apart from a professional’s opinion.

Dealing With Bullies

My 8-year-old son feels he is being bullied by neighborhood kids and he has threatened them back. He also has two sisters and feels invisible as the middle child in our family. What should I do?

"Our job as parents is to keep our kids safe. Always encourage your son to tell you if he is being bullied and how it makes him feel." --- I agree with this 100% but, this only happens when the parents are better listeners than advice givers. If all you do is solve your child’s problems each time they bring them to you, then you have enabled him/her from working the problem out them selves. Be a facilitator not a dictator.

"Remind him that it is not his fault"----- Evaluate to make sure it's not his/her fault because it could be.

"Suggest that he stay away from those kids and persuade him not to threaten back." ---- I agree that threatening is not the way to go but in some instances, better results are gained by at least standing up for your self and letting the bullies know that you are not going to take it any more. Most bullies are bark and no bite. This has been proven over and over again through out the years so don't be afraid to speak your mind when you know the time is right. Speaking your mind when it's 5 to 1 may not be the right time to stand up for yourself. If you have the ability to either draw attention to your situation or get away, you stand a better chance of standing up to bullies.

"You need to encourage him to be the "better person. Have him tell the kids who are bullying him that he doesn't like it and that they should stop! He could just say "Quit it, David" and then walk away." --- Although this is the best thing to do theoretically, sometimes you cannot just walk away and just saying STOP does not always work. If you are going to say stop and walk away, remember to keep your eye on the bully because there's nothing worse than being jumped from behind.

"Remind him that bullies like to upset people, so if he can keep his cool and react with a calm voice rather than an angry voice, the bully will not get the desired response." --- Some bullies see the calm voice as a target to continue the taunting. They see it as a challenge. I encourage you to day nothing and make eye contact with a confident face. Saying nothing makes you unpredictable and unpredictable is not what the bully is counting on.

"If your son doesn't feel comfortable saying that to the bully by himself, he could ask someone to be there when he does speak face to face with the bully. The bully might be more open to listening than to bullying when another person is present." --- Again, I say that if you are going to address bullies you need to be confident and make sure they know that you are not satisfied with their behavior. Having someone around when you do this only allows you the comfort in knowing someone will intercede if things go bad.

"Also, if your son doesn't feel comfortable with what you are suggesting, encourage him to just walk away but to still tell you about it." --- Remember what I said earlier, you will only get this to happen if you have established a reputation for being a listener and not a problem solver.

"You can discreetly go and have a word with the bully's parents and see if they can do something about their child's bullying ways." --- This sounds great but will only work if you have hard facts to back it up, have reports from the school or pictures that you have taken of bruises and scrapes or even text messages and posts that have been saved. Make sure that you are going to solve the problem and not add fuel to the fire. You could be causing a bigger problem than you ever imagined. Just make sure you evaluate the situation 1st. It may be better to get the principal or a 3rd party involved 1st with the child’s parents as their emotions won't be so raw and on edge. Regardless how bad children are, they are still someone’s child and the mothering instinct to protect and not believe another person may kick in but from a teacher or principal you may get better results.



Over all the suggestions aren't bad but make sure you read between the lines when you see an article like this. After all only you know your child. Each case of bullying is different so the suggestions here may or may not work so do your research on the subject and trust your gut.

Until next time, Be the change you want to see.